I’m Lacey Cencula and I am #MadOnline.
Yeah sure, I could log-off and do other productive things, but instead I’m going to rant about it right here, right now.
So, I’m mindlessly scrolling through Facebook when I come across a post from a girl I know from school. It was about how women constantly deal with unwanted sexual advances during our day-to-day lives. I obviously read it and was all like “amen sista, preach it.” Then, I started scrolling through the comments because I obviously enjoy looking for reasons to be angry.
A nice young man had left a comment. In his defense, he truly thought his comment was in agreement with the original poster. In a nutshell, he felt bad for all the unwanted male attention women get and he has noticed it first-hand. He went on to say that men should do better to protect women from it because they are “delicate” and that women’s clothes these days often provoke a lot of unwanted attention as well.
Don’t worry: original poster responded and was like whoa now, we can’t blame it on the way women are dressed, that is victim blaming and not at all an excuse! Again, amen sista *snaps.* But then, the young man responded that he absolutely did not mean it in that way! He just meant if even normal clothes provoke unwanted sexual advances from men, why increase it by wearing provocative clothing? Furthermore, he stated that women in provocative clothing don’t give off the same vibes of dignity, class, and intelligence that a modestly dressed woman does and obviously don’t respect themselves as much.
Provocative clothing is not an invitation for sexual advances????? I literally do not care if I am wearing the tightest, shortest dress of all time; no one has the right to throw unwarranted sexual comments my way. Clothes are clothes; not an invitation.
“...even normal clothes provoke unwanted sexual advances” YES THAT IS THE PROBLEM. I have had men cat-call me as I walked down the street in a large t-shirt and athletic shorts. So, let’s stop blaming “what women wear these days” and start blaming the people whose mouths the comments are coming from. Me, standing in a potato sack=doesn't want obscenities hurled my way. Me, standing naked=doesn't want obscenities hurled my way.
The argument that scantily clad women are lesser than modestly dressed women is asinine. I was Valedictorian of my high school, graduated Summa Cum Laude from college, and am now earning my Masters degree. I also hella love and respect myself. I know plenty of other women that are the same. So do not tell me that if we choose to wear a body-con skirt with a low-cut top, that we are clearly not self-respecting, classy, or intelligent women.
So there’s my truth. Here’s the dare:
Wear what you want, when you want. It’s your body and your life.
Don’t ever treat another person as if you have the right to throw unwarranted sexual comments at them.
If ever in a situation where you are receiving unwanted sexual advances, stand up for yourself ***if you feel safe to.*** That is important to note! A truck full of dumb guys shouting sexual comments at me? Sure, I’ll tell them to shut up. But if someone approaches me when I’m alone in an unknown environment, do what you have to do to get out of there safely. So while I’m angry on the inside, I’ll give them my politeful giggle and get out of there ASAP (then I’ll rant about it later).